Coaches, protect yourselves!

life coach session

If you are a Somatic coach, mentor, or any kind of life, health and wellness coach, be sure that you are protecting your business, reputation, and personal life. Luckily, I have not had any any issues but when you work with clients or potential clients who can be emotionally dysregulated, the advice of experts is to know how to screen potential clients, know your scope of practice, and when to decline working with a client, and how to protect your boundaries. Coaches can be good at guiding others to have a healthy space but lack the confidence to control their own. It's not easy but pays off in the end!

First, be sure to screen anyone who contacts you and inquires about your services. Have that free discovery call with them first to know if you're a good fit for each other. I have seen some coaches charge for the discovery call and then discount the first session that same cost. Do whichever works for you but just screen them!

Why? Well, you probably have put in a lot of time and training or self exploration to now work with others. We found incredible resources that worked for us and its natural to want to bring our knowledge to help others. I believe its imperative to know your scope of practice as a coach in any area. You may think you have a clear idea but spend some time writing it down or ask your teachers or mentors who you respect if you haven't been fully trained to understand this. It's especially important when we are working with people who have unhappiness in their life or clear trauma issues to know exactly who we should be working with as a coach. I was trained to follow a red, yellow and green light philosophy. When a potential client wants to learn from you and has no severe issues in the present or past and you feel a good energy from them, they get a green light. A yellow light may come up if you aren't quite sure because of things they want to work on or how they handled past situations. You may decide to cautiously proceed but have the right to change that yellow to a red or green light in the future. This can change as your work proceeds or deepens. Its a great idea to schedule a session to discuss how they feel things are going and you can give your input as well. Remember, coaching is a partnership. Clearly, if they talk of self harm, serious chronic depression, untreated mental health issues, demanding and controlling vibe, or tell you that you are their last hope and please don't abandon them, they are a bright red light. Suggest that you have an area that you are skilled at but perhaps, for their best interest, a licensed professional such as a psychologist is better suited to counsel or treat them.

Sometimes you may know right off it your relationship won't be a good fit. Listen to your intuition. You may be picking up red flags but can't quite pin point them yet. If you do decide to coach them, you will most often learn that you were right. It can be difficult if you work with emotional issues and trauma in people, but remember, just because they feel they can then take advantage of you, disrespect you, or try to control you, their trauma is not an excuse. It IS perhaps a reason, but not excusable and that's a definite sign that they need a licensed professional or therapist.

Lastly, I have read a lot of different pros and cons to giving clients your personal phone number. You will have to make that decision. Use a business phone number that is separate if possible but often, new or small businesses don't feel a need to pay for that expense. In these days when even a college education can be obtained online, email and website messaging can suffice. Some clients think that you are their friend and will call or text at all hours of the day. Some can be extra needy and blast your phone with messages of distress...another reason to refer them out to licensed professionals and to NOT give out your personal phone number. People's nervous systems can change from day to day, hour to hour or second to second and their personality can too. If a client ever becomes hostile or threatening to you, you will have no paper trail on phone calls so stick to emails that you can save and screenshot images and keep them in their file.

We teach our clients how to set boundaries, and personally, I feel the word boundary can seem harsh. Just like when we install a fence in our yard however, the goal isn't always to keep others out. It can be used to keep things IN. Like our peace, our state of mind, our energy,. Boundaries protect both sides safely and wisely. Don't ever be afraid to use them.

I'd love to hear from other coaches and how you manage your business when working with the public. But the best advice is to have fun, meet lots of interesting people, and keep on learning!